Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
