brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
