question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
