I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize