Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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