soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
