well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
