So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
