so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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