How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
