i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
