I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
