He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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