At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
