You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
