and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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