but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
