i barfeds in our rink
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
