Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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