So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Farmville is her only friend.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
