Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
