I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
