My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
