Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
