Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize