I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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