It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
