Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
