I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize