I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
