dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
