My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
