and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
