Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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