About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
