he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Randomize
