i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
