god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
