Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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