I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
