I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
