I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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