Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
