I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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