32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
