11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
