Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
