The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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