I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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