Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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