In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize