I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
