he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Even my vagina gasped.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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