i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
