I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
