He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
